Not supposed to Fall
by Mini Mashin
Summary: -Revenant Wings- "We were the best to fly in all of Lemures. We could easily deflect magic and pick off Yarhi. We were not supposed to fall, to die in a way like this. And yet, I could not help but accept it with all my heart."


**Mashin:** Popped into my head after reading a bunch of Pokemon stories by **Damned Lolita**. She's a good author. Also inspired by reading one shots.

If you don't remember this, it was one of the FFXII Revenant Wings stories on LilMissYuki's page, but I think she took it down. I have permission to write this.

**Summary:** _We could fly higher than any skybandit or ship could. We could pick up Espers of all kind and fling them high in the air. We were powerful, able to resists many spells and attacks, just by merely flying into the air. We had wings, dammit!_

_Those didn't help me in the end. I was falling, and I was sure the landing would kill me._

_I wasn't supposed to fall, especially like this. Death had come, and I was ready._

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

And sorry if I screw up on parts of people's personality. I'm not used to writing FFXII much, I only read them.

* * *

The ground was coming, faster and faster, closer and closer. I felt the wind pierce my skin with debris, little rocks bouncing off my tattered wings. It hurt, like a knife was stabbing me over and over, with the speed I was falling alone. The feathers continued to fall, joining me as they floated besides me, blood red with my blood and the blood of others. It fascinated me, how the color of my blood was the same as someone's like Vaan, despite our races, our thoughts, our memories, everything about us. It made me feel welcome, even though I was bleeding heavily and falling to the ground, defenseless and helpless.

Why?

_Yarhi._ That was all I could say. Yarhi, so many ways to describe them. One would be 'past creature'. I believed it fit, with the way they used to be a person's anima. It saddened me in a way, how they used to be a great part of someone's soul, only to be used and turned into despicable creatures. Was my anima like that?

I didn't have time to think of that, as the ground was still coming closer.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"_Llyud, want to go flying?"_

_I turned around to face her. Filo, the only girl in our group who could fly. We were the only two who could reach the clouds, so I usually felt a stronger-than-normal bond with her. Was it because she could fly, or is it because she's a girl? Or maybe it's because I have a 'crush' on her, as Vaan says._

"_That would be nice Filo."_

_The girl beamed. It was so easy to make her happy. She never went for the more luxurious things in life. That's what I liked about her. Even though she could fly and she loved to, she was very down-to-earth, content with what she had at the moment._

"_Great! Let's go!"_

_She grabbed my arm, pulling me as she walked quite fast to the hatch for the ship. I felt my cheeks burn, and I was pretty sure Vaan and Penelo were laughing in the background. Why? Was there something on my face?_

_Pausing as she realized I was going slower than her, Filo turned around to face me, and she put a hand on my forehead, leaning in close to see anything. "Llyud, are you alright? Your face is red."_

_I could still hear Vaan roaring with laughter, even though we were far away. "Um, nothing is wrong. I just felt hot all of a sudden."_

_She took her hand off my forehead, and I instantly missed the warmth her hand gave. Wait, what was I saying? I was sounding like Balthier when he talked about Fran! I did not want to sound like the 'Leading man'!_

_Shrugging her shoulders, Filo continued to walk. "Maybe it's because we're near the engine. Oh well."_

_She skipped off, her Skybandit usually touching the ground with a small 'bap'. I sometimes wonder how it still survived and looked brand new, with how many times it had been used._

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

I could hear someone screaming something, was it my name? I didn't know, it was too scrambled for me to hear. Either way, it didn't matter. I was too far for anyone to do anything now, and the only person nearby me was…

That's who was calling my name! Filo!

I slowly opened one eye, trying to keep it open without tears clouding my vision.

She was coming closer, racing on her skybandit, and I could still see her mouth moving with the syllables of my name coming out, even though she was still so very far away for my liking.

She was racing faster, I saw. Faster and faster, like she was escaping Hell, but only just. I could hear the screams of the Yarhi below me, how they screamed and cheered for my blood, my blood that was falling out of my body in waves by now, falling up with the force of the air.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see my last moments of death, or anything when I died. That was it. I was going to die. End of story. Nothing new, nothing special.

- - - - - - - - - - - -- - -

_Vaan once told me people we cared about died in the end, how we couldn't prevent it. I replied 'Why bother caring about someone then? Why bother loving someone and protecting them, knowing they will eventually die and rot?'_

_He said 'It's probably because we want to feel special. We want to feel that we're needed, that we have a purpose in the world. I mean, why bother reaching for a dream because we'll just lose it after all?'_

_He had chuckled and laughed, leaning back on the wall of the ship. 'I think it's because we all need someone to care about us, someone to love us. Otherwise, we have no meaning, and we might as well be mindless Yarhi out to kill.'_

_I had just nodded, not really understanding what Vaan had said. So what was the point of protecting and caring?_

_Basch had told me I had to find the answer for myself. I think he was the most reasonable._

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to see anything else. After a second, I opened them once more. Hell with it, I wanted something to see before I hit the ground.

Damn. I wish I hadn't.

Filo was right besides me, falling on her skybandit, as she tried to position it so she would catch me and we stay on the board long enough for us to get back to the others. Her eyes were widened, her mouth was open, but there was no sound coming out.

But once more, I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the salty small tears flowing from her eyes. I didn't want to see the broken look on her face as I touched the ground, I didn't want to see her stop in mid-air, being attacked by Yarhi until we were both dead.

I didn't want to see her cry. I didn't want to see her, to know I was the cause. Yeah, I loved her, and I had figured out the answer, but I would never act out on it. The end was near for me, and there was nothing left for me now.

No more. No more will I see her cry. I felt something under him, a hand.

A small twitch, and the ends of my mouth turned from their frown to a soft, saddened and broken smile. No more would hurt come. No more would it come.

_The End. The End will come, silently and peacefully._

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Here I was, flying in the sun-filled sky, with Filo beside me on her Skybandit, as we both stared into the horizon, feeling the wind blow through our hair as we gained momentum._

_It felt good. The have the one I cared about beside me, as we flew through the sky of __Lemurés, practically acting as we had no care in the world._

_I spread out my wings more, loving the feel of the wind through my feathers. After a few seconds of my eyes closed, I heard giggling from besides me._

_Slowly opening my eyes, I looked at Filo with a puzzling look in my eyes. Apparently, it showed in my face, as she had started giggling even more._

"_Sorry, your face looked funny back there. I'm guessing you really love flying, don't you?"_

_I nodded, not sure how my face looked funny. I didn't move my mouth, did I? "Yes, flying is wonderful. It gives the feeling that you are free, free to do whatever you like."_

_She smiled, letting her teeth show through as she looked back down, seeing clouds and little dots of land below. "Yeah… but it's all an illusion in the end, isn't it? It'll all shatter soon, won't it?"_

_I probably looked shocked, and I flew closer to her. Why was she talking as if she were depressed?_

_Sighing, she put her hands behind her head, leaning back on her Skybandit until she laid on it, staring up at the clouds above. "I mean, it's all fake. Eventually, you'll just be caged again, taken from your paradise just as you had a piece of it."_

_A small tear fell down her face, and she quickly raised her hand to wipe it off. "Sorry, past memories."_

_But more tears had just come from her eyes, falling down to the sky below. I don't know what I was doing, but it was instinct, and I had wrapped my arms around her, landing on her Skybandit and covering her with my arms._

"_It is…okay. Would you like to talk about it?"_

_He could feel her slowly nod from in front of him; her body tense and her shoulders still shaking from the force her tears fell with._

"_You don't have to tell now. Wait if you wish."_

_She sniffled once more, bringing her arms to circle around her legs. "Y-you think?"_

_The only answer she got was a tightened hug from the sympathetic Aegyl behind her._

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

I felt someone grab onto my waist, and I felt my back hit something cold. Did a Yarhi summon Ice or something?

That thought flew out the window, as I slowly opened my eyes to see Filo above me, and it was then I realized that she had caught me. She had caught me, and saved me from death by the Yarhi.

Wow. I guess she really did care. It was nice to know the one I loved indeed loved me back.

But it didn't matter; I was going to die, if my injuries had anything to say. My wings were already broken and tattered. What good was an Aegyl with no moving wings?

I stole another glance at Filo, noticing how she held in the tears forming at her eyes once more, and how her arm tightened at my waist as we flew towards the others, where she thought Penelo would help heal me back to normal.

I couldn't hear anything for a while, getting used to the sound of no air rushing past me. It seemed quite…quiet, despite the fact that there were Yarhi right behind us.

I saw Filo's mouth move, and it took me a while to hear her. But I wished I hadn't, because it killed me to hear such pain and wishing in her voice. She never sounded like that, even when talking about-

I tried to concentrate on what she was saying, because her eyes had widened at a point, and her speed had quickened.

"-Please Llyud, please hang on. Please, please… Hang on Llyud, we want you to live, please, just hang on."

I mentally scoffed, but regretted it after seeing caring and hope in her eyes. There was no way I would voice my thoughts out to her in this state.

No, she didn't need to know that I knew I was going to die. She could have a few more moments of false hope, if just to make her a little happy.

I owed her that much.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_We were inside the ship, Filo still in between my wings. She had gotten cold after the flight, and being the person I was and how I felt, lent her my wings as a comfort source._

_When she was talking about her deceased family, I had felt the pain when she talked about all of them, how her eyes flickered with emotions about talking about her younger brother, who was very much like Kytes, the Black Mage._

_It was silent, as the two of us walked back to the rooms we would sleep in._

_Thank whatever God was out there that Vaan or the others weren't awake to see us, because I already knew why my cheeks were very hot._

_Apparently, Filo's' were too, seeing as she was trying to hide with my wings._

_It was silent as we walked towards the room._

"_Llyud?"_

_I looked down towards the small bundle in my arms, as she slowly got out of my wings. I wanted her back there, she felt warm._

"_Thank you. For listening."_

_I shook my head, smiling down at her. It amazed me, how that if I were a Hume, I would be about the same age as her, and yet I was more than a head taller than her._

"_Anyone else would have done the same. I do not deem it necessary for you to thank me because of that."_

_She had blushed. Why? I do not know._

"_B-but it's different, because you…"_

_I leaned in closer, almost touching her forehead with mine._

"_Yes?"_

_It was quite fun to see her splutter and wave her arms, I can tell you that._

"_Err, never-mind. Goodnight Llyud."_

_And going up on her tiptoes, I had felt her lips softly brush my cheek, before she was off and rushing to her room. I'm pretty sure I saw her face red._

_Meanwhile, I stood there in the hallway like an idiot, holding my hand to the cheek she had kissed._

_Basch's advice came to my head, and I couldn't help but think that I had found the answer. But I have to say, mine was different than what Vaan had said._

'_I love you' I mouthed to her door, and walked back to mine._

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

I felt the others crowd around me, but I could feel Nono and Cu Sith behind me shaking their heads. Apparently, moogles could feel when an Aegyl was about to die. And they understood the look I tried to tell them through my eyes; they would not tell anyone about my condition.

Sighing, I laid my head back to face Filo-who was behind me-as Penelo continued to caste Curaja to heal me. I felt the magic enter my veins, but it quickly evaporated when moving towards my wounds. It did nothing, absolutely nothing but cause Penelo to tire quickly.

Sighing, Penelo leaned back; wiping her forehead with her spare hand while one was held a foot away from my bleeding and cut chest. "I don't know why, it's not healing! Something's wrong, I don't know what!"

Well, the idea of them having a few more moments of hope died when Kytes started panicking and screaming something about me dying. I'm not dead yet Kytes, but I will be soon if you don't shut up.

...Great, Vaan and Tomaj are rubbing off of me.

I felt tears landing on my closed eyes, and I realized that Filo was crying. She was crying over me, and I wasn't dead yet! Dammit, couldn't she wait until I finally left this world?

My mind yelled at me for thinking like that. I was not used to tears, to people trying to help me. I was from a socially-withdraw society, I did not know of the emotions people like Filo and Vaan felt from times to times. It… surprised me at first, but it has slowly grown onto me. Emotions made us unique, different from others.

Knowing that Filo was crying over me made me happy, to say the least. I loved the feeling that made me feel loved, that she loved me.

It was too bad that I was feeling this when I was about to die.

I reached up and held her hand inside mine, noticing how small hers were compared to mine. "Don't worry, just please help Penelo."

Her head bobbed up and down, bringing more tears down to me. And slowly-to not hurt me-she got her knees up from under mine and walked to Penelo's side, asking if she needed anything. All the while, there was no sign of hope in her eyes, and she never talked.

My heart broke. I caused it .I caused her to cry and stay depressed. It was my fault.

And silently, but surely, my eyes moistened and I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_I walked up to Basch one day, intent on telling him what I knew._

"_Basch Fon Ronsenburg. Could I have a word with you?"_

_Basch's eyes held a certain light in them, as the two walked/floated to a small, secluded place where people couldn't over-hear them._

"_So Llyud, did you find the answer?"_

_I nodded, but I was not sure whether to tell him or not._

"_What I learned… I learned lots, but there is few I can tell."_

_Basch nodded, a small smile on his face. "Just say what you wish."_

_I nodded again, wondering if it was automatic to me or not. "To protect the ones you love… it truly is a blessing in disguise, is it not?"_

_Basch merely chucked. "Indeed it is. Is that all you learned that you can tell?"_

_I shook my head. "No. There is so much more, but I do not have the luxury of time to help me."_

"_Well, say what you can."_

"_While it is a blessing, there are many more out there. Simple things like helping someone hold joy and happiness in them. It is truly wonderful, to feel that you are needed. But to make the person you love smile and laugh, it feels as if you are truly needed, as if you are the only thing that matters to them."_

_I stopped to take a breath. "We all need someone to lean on, it is a necessity in life. To have people lean on us makes us wanted, and causes more emotions, which eventually lead to true happiness."_

_Basch just smiled at the end, but that smile told me it was the right answer I gave._

"_You are right, even though your description is different from others. We need someone. Everybody does. And I praise you for figuring it out in such a short amount of time, unlike Vaan, who got help and took quite a while. But if I may ask, who helped you learn this?"_

_I smiled, bringing a finger to my lips._

"_That's a secret."_

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _

This was it. Only a few more minutes to live, and here I was, on the bed on the airship, my wings folded carefully under me. Over and over again, they had tried to heal me, but failed every time.

Filo was the only person beside my bed right now, as it was the middle of the night. She was asleep, but she still held onto my wings from under me to make sure they didn't crunch and bend.

Sighing, he laid his head down on the pillow, not feeling the softness, or the pain racking throughout his body at the moment. All he felt was darkness…darkness threatening to take over and leave him dead.

The room was silent, and white. Just like those 'hospital' beds Vaan talked about once. It was supposed to make you feel safe, but all it did was make me feel unwelcome, an outcast.

I do not know whether I was truly destined to meet Filo, Vaan, and the rest, but I do not regret any of it, no matter the amount of battles I went through, because I always had someone besides me helping me out.

I remembered past moments, when we would be relaxing and having fun.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"_Llyud, want to go swimming?"_

_I looked down at the waving Vaan under me and Filo, as the rest of the group ran into the clear waters in front of us._

_We were at the Muruc Cashuac Skysea, and we were at the sea, where everybody thought it would be a good idea to take a break and start swimming._

"_What is the purpose of this again?" I asked curiously, as I started staring at the water. It seemed big, like it would swallow me up in its blue depths._

_Vaan laughed, noticing the look on my face. "It's for fun. Now get in here and start swimming!"_

_Shaking my head again, I didn't notice Filo sneaking up behind me until I was pushed right into the water, leaving a giant splash that made waves all around._

"_Nice one Filo!"_

_I playfully glared, ready to take revenge. Alas, it was futile, as a small smile found it's way on my face. Vaan started over-reacting, saying something about the apocalypse coming because I smiled._

_I couldn't help it. Filo's smiles were contagious. But I was going to get her; she wasn't even in the water yet. And my wings were damp!_

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

I felt tears of sorts on my face, and I lifted one heavy arm to wipe it off.

They kept coming, no matter how many times I wiped my eyes.

I closed my eyes, letting another teardrop from my eye.

_Damn you fate._

4 o'clock in the morning. 4 in the morning, and here I am, still awake, and Filo is not cuddled up to my side, since she did not have a blanket. So now she was hugging my wing and snuggling into my feathers, not knowing she was tickling me to death.

…Figure of speech, of course. Nobody would die of tickling.

Great, now death nearby is causing my head to spin and make me think crazy thoughts.

I felt something cold and malevolent besides me, and my head turned to face it, thinking it was probably Balthier grumpy. I was wrong.

As soon as I had turned my head, there was sound of metal moving, and I felt something cold and sharp lightly touch my stretched neck. Instantly realizing it was a scythe, I followed the pole of the weapon up to the bony hand, and to the figure cloaked in a black hood.

Death. Death had come, and too soon for me.

Looking up, I faced it square in the eye, and I knew this was it.

"_Are you ready to leave?"_ It whispered, its voice raspy and dead.

My head slowly turned towards the small sleeping girl beside me, and I felt my wings slowly grow cold. Even unconscious, she snuggled closer to the wing to give it more warmth.

My heart broke. Would things have been different if I were not born an Aegyl, so I would not have fallen? Would we have had a better chance, if I had been born a Hume, the same age of her, instead of being 20 in Aegyl years, half my life gone? Would we have been together forever?

I would have never known, because Death grabbed my arm at that very second, and dragged me out of the airship, into the airs above.

I looked behind me, and saw the figures of everyone in the ship growing smaller and smaller, my body limp and cold. Dead. That was all I could say.

And despite the fact I was flying with death, I could not help but think I had fallen. Fallen, crashed, and died.

Fate is cruel.

* * *

Light continued to shine in Filo's eyes as they slowly opened, shielding the rays with one hand as she rubbed one of her eyes with the other.

"Ow… What did I sleep on?"

Looking around her, she noticed the white room Penelo used for injured people. Was she injured? No, there was no pain, and she was sitting in a chair, holding tightly onto a red wing with feathers…

Llyud!

Gasping, Filo pulled off the covers of the still body of the red-haired Aegyl, resting her head on top of his heart, desperately hearing for a pulse.

"Llyud? Llyud?"

By then, Penelo, Ashe, and Basch had come into the room, with the rest outside waiting for an answer.

She heard nothing. Absolutely nothing from his chest.

She could feel someone place a hand on her shoulder, but what help did that do?

Raising her head, she looked at Llyud's face, how he seemed to be sleeping, yet already dead.

"Llyud, you'll open your eyes, right? They'll open, and you'll smile…"

She could feel the drops from her eyes now, they washed over everything. Behind her, Ashe was slowly shaking her head, Penelo was holding onto her shoulder, and Basch's head was lowered in prayer.

"…Like always…You'll wake up, like always, right? You'll have survived the landing, the fall, and you'll smile… You'll open your eyes one more time…"

She shook his dead shoulders. Nothing. Nothing at all.

Her eyes closed. He was gone. Gone forever, never to see him ever again.

"…Please, open those eyes…smile once more for me, will you?"

A teardrop landed on one of his fallen feathers, landing in her lap. He was gone.

"…Llyud? Please don't leave me…please don't leave me alone again…"

_One smile from him, one teardrop of happiness from her, as they flew into the skies of Lemurés._

_Another teardrop fell, and the illusion shattered, never to be seen again._

Her shoulders shook with the pain she felt her heart in, her mind finally accepting the fact.

"Llyud…Please…please, come back. Don't leave me."

Tears around, as the rain fell around the ship.

"…I thought Aegyl weren't supposed to fall."

Nothing was heard, the tears came silently.

"…You weren't supposed to fall…"

_Reality shattered, leaving a broken spirit behind, never to fly in the air again._

* * *

**Mashin:** Yeah, there's some parts even I don't know why I typed. But I thought they fit.

If you need any info or want to just comment, leave a review! Not sure if Yuki's doing a sequel or not…

-Mashin

**After Editing: **Damn, I wrote alot! Tell me what you think of this much writing, because it's the longest freakin' oneshot I've ever thought of!


End file.
